Retention isn’t just about pay… it’s about feeling valued.
A few too many times, I have had employers tell me how shocked they were when a solid employee handed in their notice.
It usually goes something like this:
Management thought everything was fine. The employee was performing well. No complaints. Maybe there was even a yearly bonus. Maybe leadership felt like they were constantly saying “great job.”
And then the employee leaves for a role that… doesn’t even pay all that much more. Sometimes not more at all!
That’s when we get to the real reason: culture. More specifically, how appreciation is shown and whether it actually lands.
The Part Leaders Miss:
Most leaders do appreciate their people. The problem is they’re often showing it in the way they would want to receive it.
Different people are motivated by different things.
One employee just wants a bonus- show them the money! While another simply wants to hear, “I’m so proud of you.”
Employees work the same way.
PS. I have worked at creating opportunities to say, “I am proud of you” to people. The reaction is compelling, I encourage you to do the same.
The Five Work Love Languages
You’ve probably heard of the five love languages. They apply at work, too, and they’re one of the simplest ways to stop guessing what “appreciation” means to your team.
Leaders, here’s the challenge: sit down with each employee and find out what makes them feel valued.
Spoiler alert: it’s not always money, and it’s definitely not always a once-a-month pizza party.
If their work love language is…
Words of Affirmation
Call out specific wins (not just “good job”)
Praise in the way they prefer: private, public, written, or verbal
Gifts
A raise or bonus (even small) can matter, especially when tied to something specific
Small “quality of life” upgrades: new headset, better chair, work boots stipend, tool allowance, gas card, lunch on you
Quality Time
Quick 1:1s that aren’t just about tasks
Include them in problem-solving or planning if they value access to leadership
Don’t assume everyone wants to be a lone wolf
Acts of Service
Remove friction: help with a stuck process, jump in during a rush, adjust schedules when life happens
Ask what would make their week easier, then actually do one thing
Physical Touch (keep it normal)
This one is culture- and person-dependent. Keep it work-appropriate and opt-in: handshake, fist bump, high five
If you’re unsure, skip it. Appreciation should never feel uncomfortable.
A retention truth that’s annoyingly real
People who feel seen and appreciated have a much harder time walking away.
Not impossible. But harder.
And if you don’t know what your team needs to feel valued, this is your sign to start scheduling quick one-on-ones.
Here’s a simple script you can steal:
“Hey, we see the work you’ve been putting in, and we want to make sure you feel appreciated here. What makes you feel most valued at work?”
Then listen. Write it down. Repeat it.
Want help figuring this out?
One of my favorite parts of my job is getting to know your people and helping you love them well, without the awkward guessing game.
If you want support running a quick appreciation/retention check-in process (or figuring out what’s actually going on underneath turnover), book a time with me here to set up a time to talk.